Finding Jo by Frances Ive - Guest Post / Blog Tour

I'm delighted that author Frances Ive has written a special Guest Post for me today as part of the Blog Tour for her new novel Finding Jo

At breaking point Jo deserts her dysfunctional family and possessive boyfriend, making an uncharacteristic escape to the Himalayas in a bid for freedom and self-knowledge. The peace she finds there helps her to unravel her turmoil, but unexpected challenges test her new-found equilibrium to the limit.  

Finding Jo focuses on relationships between families, lovers and friends, and the resentment and long-held grievances that threaten to destroy them. Jo’s quest for a deeper purpose in life acts as a catalyst to her family, indicating that willingness to change and grow enables people to find happiness. 

Purchase Links 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08VWL1JNR

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08VWL1JNR

What is a dysfunctional family?

‘All over the country people would be having dinners with their families. Loads of them would be as dysfunctional as hers, but some of them might genuinely enjoy each other, instead of pretending and acting out a farce.’  These were Jo’s thoughts on Christmas Day, when she made up her mind to get away from it all in Finding Jo.

We all know people who come from dysfunctional families, and most of us have stories about our own upbringing. In the worst cases children are neglected due to poor parenting, because the parent(s) have serious problems of their own. But in families like Jo’s no-one was physically neglected, and they were fed, clothed and sent to school.  Yet she and her siblings had an unconscious sense that something was wrong. Their mother was very unhappy and depressed so in turn her kids’ needs were not always met. This was never acknowledged in the family nor understood.   

As adults Jo and her siblings each had completely different types of problems.  Relationships between them were competitive and tainted by jealousy and disdain. That Christmas Day brought it all to a head for Jo and made her decide to do something about it by escaping without telling them. She left in a clandestine way and went to a retreat in the Himalayas in a bid to find peace of mind.

I have always been shocked at how family members can treat each other so badly for so long, when life is too short to spend it all fighting, or worse still, not even speaking. Some people are never reconciled to their family, causing all parties tremendous hurt while others do not come together until the end of their lives – what a waste of time. Brothers, sisters, parents, children, often have unacknowledged or misunderstood reasons for not speaking to each other or liking each other. Family feuds are not that unusual in real life and aren’t just the stuff of fiction. 

Families may go through bad phases and every family has its own foibles, but when all the children of a family grow up feeling that they were emotionally neglected, they often carry that for the rest of their lives, unless there is change. The undercurrents in Jo’s family had an effect on her, and her brother and sister. 

Children brought up in a family that doesn’t work for them may feel they couldn’t ever be their true selves, or that they played a role. There may have been favouritism towards one or other of the siblings, sometimes boys favoured over girls or vice-versa. Competitiveness rules as each child vies for the attention of one or both parents. The mistrust between parents is likely to be passed down to them and they can’t get on together as adults

Jo runs away from it all, which doesn’t in itself solve any of these problems. Could she not have communicated better rather than taking such radical steps? In her opinion it would not have worked, as they wouldn’t have listened to her. She also had her own problems and didn’t comprehend what was wrong with her parents and family. Some might say what she did was cowardly or dramatic.

Can one person changing their behaviour and acting out of character have a transformative effect on others in the family?  Jo leaving without telling them of her plans changed the family dynamics and forced some family members into opening up. Although this in turn prompted more disharmony, it also brought about change with some of them airing their grievances and doing something different.  Secrets and lies began to unravel. 

In the calm and peace of Jasanghari, a Himalayan retreat, Jo opens up about why she left home and starts to learn how she can express herself better and speak her truth. She is put into a position of having to cope with a family member whom she is not close to, but their hostility and confrontation leads to them saying things to each other that would never have talked about before. 

Jo’s departure from home acts as a catalyst to other members of the family, who realise that they need to take action and change behaviour to enjoy a better life.  

Finding Jo, Frances Ive

Meet the Author

A career as a journalist/PR led to health writing for UK nationals newspapers and consumer magazines. Out of the blue I was inspired to write a novel, Finding Jo, which has taken some years to come to fruition, self-publishing in January 2021. I travelled a lot in my 20s and I have drawn on my three months’ trip to India in Finding Jo.

Social Media Links –   Twitter: @healthysouluk   

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FindingJoFrancesIve   

Please check out the other Bloggers on the Tour